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Archive for October, 2009


Merry Columbus Day!

Hooray! If there was ever a holiday worth celebrating, it would be Columbus Day. And if you don’t know why, then you hate America. Like these two.

A great way to spend the day is to kick back in a track suit with some cold cuts and read 1491.


Obama Fail!

For the second installment of Obama Fail! lets look at Obama’s stance on the Don’t Ask Don’ Tell policy (the one that says there will be no openly gay soldiers in the military).

On January 10, 2009, Robert Gibbs assured the nation with his entire face that Obama is committed to ending the policy. Look here’s proof:

See I told ya.

Seems pretty direct and on point, yes? But on October 10, 2009, Obama aide Jim “Don’t Drink The Kool Aid” Jones told CNN that Obama, though still committed to ending the policy, is going to wait until the time is just right. Dare to call my bluff?

You owe me a coke.

Being a hypocrite doesn’t exactly bother me. And I do believe that sometimes politicians are bound by political obligation as opposed to being free to do what is morally right. Even with these two allowances this is still an Obama Fail because he makes himself appear spineless and unreliable.

Obama keeps undermining his promise of change. I am not a pot head, but I know that when I say, “I’ll do it later,” whatever “it” is will probably not get done-unless it is a bodily function (even then, iffy). Perhaps Obama’s campaign slogan should have been “Change We’ll Get Around To.” I suspect they had already written down “Change We Can Believe In”.

I really don’t understand what the problem is with gays in the military. It is not as though the Folsom Street Fairwill break out under

Gay Soldier
Is this the imagined consequence of repealing the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy?

the Hands of Victory statue in Baghdad should American soldiers be suddenly allowed to be open about their sexuality. In fact, I cannot imagine that a whole lot would change. Obama is smart enough to know this. He is also smart enough to know that with all the failing, illegal wars and costly occupations America is currently involved in, openly gay soldiers is a non-issue issue.

I don’t pretend to know what his lame decision is about. Perhaps the practical application of rainbow fatigues wont exist until America invades Candy Land. I just hope that it isn’t related to Obama’s giving concessions to the Republican party (which according to OUTRAGE, seems like a pretty gay party).

However, the pandering explanation would make sense in illuminating why some fundamental¬† Republican attributes (xenophobia -salted heavily with islamophobia, which transcends party lines- and homophobia) are allowed to persist in this Democrat’s White House. If this continues, there will come a point when Obama will be known for his pandering and concessions rather then the high-minded ideas originally promoted.

Perhaps the right time for enlisted soldiers to be openly gay will come around the same time as the closing of Guantanamo Bay.

Ok, so two years later I was wrong about the don’t ask don’t tell policy, but right about Obama being know to pander and concede. You win some, you loose some.

Tide Cold Wash Funky

This is annoying.

It is on par with those McDonalds’ commercials where people are break dancing while eating a McRib, beat boxing away. I get annoyed when corporations pander to the urban market, the way their creative types do it is always along some stereotype.

Tide, that brand of detergent in the appealing orange bottle, produced a commercial to the tune of Digable Planets’ “Cool Like That.” To their credit, this particular type of Tide promises to wash clothes cleaner in cold water, a temperature one might remark as being cool. Maybe the commercial isn’t targeting a specific market after all, just a little musical pun.

Though, even if Tide was trying to target an audience, the responding demographic would be white boys who went to a small to medium sized liberal arts college in a rural environment, who are veritable hip hop encyclopedias – though that fact fails impress their black friend. I wonder if the commercial will fall short, as everyone knows them folk let mom wash the urban gear.

For sure the sound track to my laundry day involves hip hop, but before I saw the Tide commercial it consisted mainly of horrorcore-nothing gets my rinse cycle going like a good Flatlinerz track. Maybe I should mellow out with Tide Cool Water and the Digable Planets gang. I think I just might, now i know can be both funky fresh and be smelling fresh. That makes me very happy.

Tide Cold Water Formula: for when your whites need to be their blackest.

At least it’s all toned down from this little gem:

Note: I have not, nor ever will, listen to horrorcore. I can’t believe its even a fucking hip hop sub genre. It must be from the mid-west, or something.

What is going on with me that I needed to review commercials? What an angry, angry young man.